Kisah Pis

Day 4 - What Doesn't Kill You Make You Stronger

8am 3rd June 2012, Ahad.. memulakan hari dengan daily Blood Pressure checkup. Tak turun lagi? still 140 atas... huhuhu hangin dengan badan sendiri seperti aku hangin bila tahu ade kencing manis masa mengandung..
Rounding conduct by Dr Melissa, aka doc yg operate aku.. dengar dia ckp kat doctor pelatih " Give her a break.. 1st child and alone, memanglah BP dia tinggi..".. terharu dengar doctor cakap macam tu.. yelah mlm semalam tido pukul 3@4 pagi kot? dah lah xpernah jaga baby sebelum ni. huhuhu sedeyyyyy... tak dapat jugak kluar ospital huhuhu...

Kejap lagi baby bangun, try bagi susu badan kat dia tapi dia xpuas. Kesian.. asik menangis je. sorg nurse shif pg ni mmg baik, dia tanya nape n bawak baby pergi susu. Katanya, baby awak besar memanglah dia xpuas nyusu, lgpon awal2 lagi mane ade susu sangat... Trima kasih nurse.. huhuhu terharu sgt.. kejap lagi dapat baby yg dah lena...

Then masa berlalu begitu pantas.. sepanjang masa aku hanya pikir macamane nak bagi baby susu.. huhuhu bila tengok dia nangis, ngilu rasanya... biar dia menangis sebab aku "babab" dia, tak sampai hati tengok dia nangis lapar.
Setiap kali asben aku nak balik, mesti aku bantai meraung tak henggat punya..sedih coz nak sangat balik rumah, coz ade org yang lebih arif untuk guide/tolong kita.. MAK huhuhu..
nak-nak bila hari da nak malam and dapat nurse "I" yang tidak berhati perot tuh.. bertambah sedih... (T_T)

lebih kurang pukul 12am, baby akan bangun nak nyusu then bagilah nenen kat dia.. as usual, baby xpuas isap coz memang takde susu pon.. and dia menangis and menangis and menangis.. then datanglah nurse "I" ni :

Nurse "I" : bagilah anak awak tu susu?

Aku : Dah.. tapi macam xde susu..

Nurse "I" : ye ker? eh mengandung 6 bulan da ade susulah..(dengan muka taik tahap cipan, ingat org bohong agaknya.. bodohh...)

Aku : Betollll... sy da bagi dah kat baby tapi dia menangis juga...

Nurse "I" : Masukkan semua puting awak tuh...

Aku : Da masuk lah.. Mulut baby kecik macamane nak masuk semua...

Nurse "I" : Masuklah, masukkkk.. sambil tonyoh-tonyoh puting aku kat mulut baby dengan kasarnya.. baby nangis gile-gile bila ditonyoh-tonyoh..

Aku : (Dalam hati menyumpah seranah lah Nurse "I" ni.. kasarnya!!!.. apalah salahnya ko tolong menenangkan baby ni.. kan ko belajar semua ni bodoh.. punyalah malas ko nak layan patient.. memanglah kalau jumpe ular dengan ko baik pukul ko dulu.. psycho!!.. dah lah aku bayar income tax untuk bayar gaji kau, bahlolll.... )

Nurse "I" : Terus amik baby yang tengah menangis and cakap "Awak ni tak sayang baby!!!.."

Aku : (Nak aje aku jerit : kalau aku tak sayang baby, takdelah aku berdiam diri tengok ko bodoh-bodohkan aku, bangangggg!!!")

kejap lagi Nurse "I" yg bodoh tu datang balik bawak mangkuk kecik....

Nurse "I" : Nah!! ni mangkuk kecik dan saya nak awak perah susu awak sekarang..

Aku : (Hah, ko nak tengok sangatkan.. aku pon perah, keluarlah setitik.. pastu takde dah.. hah puas hati kau???)

Nurse "I" tu pon tolong perah tapi takde pape yang kluar.. lepas tu dia pon belah, tak muncul lagi... kan aku da cakap tapi ko sombong, bongkak, takbur.. macam ko sorang je yg belajar pasal kebidanan ni.. sister yang dah lama keje pon tak berlagak macam ko tau!!.. setakat kacang kecit ko nak berlagak macam ko lah Director kat Hospital ni.. Fuck You Lah.. Geram sangat hati kat pompuan bodoh ni.. Ish Ish Ish..)

Kelly Clarkson - Stronger (What Doesn't Kill You)

You know the bed feels warmer

Sleeping here alone

You know I dream in color

And do the things I want

You think you got the best of me

Think you've had the last laugh

Bet you think that everything good is gone

Think you left me broken down

Think that I'd come running back

Baby you don't know me, cause you're dead wrong

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger

Stand a little taller

Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone

What doesn't kill you makes a fighter

Footsteps even lighter

Doesn't mean I'm over cause you're gone

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stronger

Just me, myself and I

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger

Stand a little taller

Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone

You heard that I was starting over with someone new

They told you I was moving on over you

You didn't think that I'd come back

I'd come back swinging

You try to break me But you see...

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger

Stand a little taller

Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone

What doesn't kill you makes a fighter

Footsteps even lighter

Doesn't mean I'm over cause you're gone

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stronger

Just me, myself and I

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger

Stand a little taller

Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone

Thanks to you I got a new thing started

Thanks to you I'm not the broken-hearted

Thanks to you I'm finally thinking 'about me

You know in the end the day you left was just my beginning

In the end...

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger

Stand a little taller

Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone

What doesn't kill you makes a fighter

Footsteps even lighter

Doesn't mean I'm over cause you're gone

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stronger

Just me, myself and I

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger

Stand a little taller

Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stronger

Just me, myself and I

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger

Stand a little taller

Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone

Tapi aku tetap menangis malam tu mengenangkan nasib diri yang takde susu nak bagi kat baby.. aku memang jenis orang yang tak suka mintak tolong/menyusahkan orang tapi baby tak bersalah.. kesian sangat tengok dia menangis... huhuhu
Lepas 10 minit, nurse hantar balik baby yang dah terlena and dia terus terlena sampai pagi..
Aku? teruskan menangis teresak-esak keseorangan, takde orang nak mintak tolong huhuhuhu.. senang cerite memang tak cukup tido lah malam tu, hiba...

Pasal Nurse "I" yang kasar tu aku tak pernah cerita dengan sape-sape.. aku rasa kalau cerita dengan kakak aku or asben mahu jugak aku suruh diaorang launch komplen kat minah tu.. tapi entahlah.. What Goes Around, Comes Around.. Hari ni hari kau, esok maybe hari aku.. takde sape yang tahu..

Peace out
Sedar Dunia Itu Berputar
Sedar Susu Ibu Is The Best
Sedar Baby Hazzel Noor Aisha Noor Azhar Sangatlah Chumell.. period..

Day 3 - The Way You Look Tonight

| at 1:09 AM

8am 2nd June 2012, Sabtu.. Bangun untuk check Blood Pressure. Still tinggi, 140 atas.. herm, mood : mengeluh..
Doctor buat rounding and check luka C-zer and buka plaster.. So far, so good katanya and luka pon nampak kering.. Pastikan tak kena air.. "Baiklah Doctor", berkata dalam hati, siap tambah lagi " bila lah nak kluar nih doctor... huhuhu"

Breakfast dengan ala kadar and pandang keliling.. pesakit da bersilih ganti tapi aku? tercongok lagi kat sini..
Congok punya congok, da sampai tengahari.. asben datang bawak makanan and borak2 then waktu melawat pon habis..
Congok lagi.. tunggu petang pulak...
Petang angah and family, mak abah kaklin and asben datang.. stil diorang xdapat tengok Ms Aisha... somemore kanak-kanak bawah 12 tahun pon tak dapat naik ke ward..(cian anak-anak buah kena tunggu kat lobby hospital..) Untuk elakkan dr kuman berjangkit ~ Polisi Hospital.

Lepas sume balik, except asben. dia ajak tengok baby.. yeay yeay.. mood : kembali gembira macam nak bersiul (tapi tak reti bersiul la.. hahaha)
Sampai kat NICU, nampak baby and nurse suruh angkat and bagi susu.. HOH? macamane nak nyusukan budak ni? gegel, tak tahu... huhuhu wondering ade ke susu nye.. nampak akak yg dulu duduk sebelah katil masa kat labour room tgh nyusukan anak dia.. trus tanya akak tu mcmane nak nyusukan baby.. kiri ke kanan dulu? huhuhu tak tahuuuu....

then nurse cakap, cepatlah bagi susu, sebab kita da nak hantar baby dekat wad awak dah.. HOH? nak dapat baby da? yeay.... tapi try untuk bagi susu tetek & baby still nangis gak sebab xde susu dia nak isap.. then nurse pon bagi susu formula and nasihat, " awak kena pastikan ade susu badan ye, sebab dekat wad nanti diorang akan suruh awak bagi susu badan jugak and takde formula. nanti kesian kat baby, laparrr.".. Trima kasih nurse sebab bagi baby susu dulu sebelum hantar.. terima kasih banyak-banyak..
asben, disuruh nurse utk setelkan bil NICU ward.. bila asben balik trus tanya berape ratus? herm dengan senyuman dia berkata ribu-ribu ditolak jadi RM3 hengget saje.. WOWWW, 1 Malaysia.. Rakyat Didahulukan, Pencapaian Diutamakan...

Dengan tak sabarnye, trus suruh hubby hantar naik wad sebab nak tunggu baby sampai.. akhirnya, sampai jugak Baby Aisha di dalam genggamanku.. yeay my own... baby stil tido, yelah lepas minum susu.. then asben dapat tengok baby sekejap then balik, sebab da terlebih-lebih waktu melawat dah.. and me? keep looking at baby.. sungguh tak percaya, setelah 38 minggu di dalam perut, inilah hasilnya... mood : Gembira tak terkira..

Frank Sinatra ~ The Way You Look Tonight ~

Some day, when I'm awfully low,
When the world is cold,
I will feel a glow just thinking of you
And the way you look tonight.

Yes you're lovely, with your smile so warm
And your cheeks so soft,
There is nothing for me but to love you,
And the way you look tonight.

With each word your tenderness grows,
Tearing my fear apart
And that laugh that wrinkles your nose,
It touches my foolish heart.

Lovely, never, ever change.
Keep that breathless charm.
Won't you please arrange it ?
Cause I love you, just the way you look tonight.

And that laugh that wrinkles your nose,
It touches my foolish heart.

Lovely, don't you ever change.
Keep that breathless charm.
Won't you please arrange it ?
Cause I love you, just the way you look tonight.

Mm, mm, mm, mm,
Just the way you look to-night.

Tengah malam Baby terjaga and trus tukarkan pampers dia & snap snap snap picture.. herm tapi dia tak nak tido balik la pulak.. merengek je and try bagi susu badan tp dia merengek lagi and my nip, sungguh sakit.. yelah mulut baby kecit and dia just isap kat tempat tertentu.. sepatutnya dia kena isap the whole nip.. huhuhuhu sakittttt but baby still lagi menangis.. kejap lagi nurse datang and tanya kenape? entahlah tapi da bagi susu.. nurse tengok my nip and tekan tp xde susu keluar. then dia amik baby and pergi nyusukan, kejap lagi dapat balik baby dengan keadaan peacefully sleep..

Sungguh berterima kasih kepada nurse pada malam tu.. kesian tengok Baby menangis sebab lapar. Sorry baby, ibu takde susu nak bagi kat awak.. huhuhu mood : sungguh sedih tapi lega.. after that baby tido sampai ke pagi.... me? trus tengok muka dia and mengelamun then tertido...

Peace out.
Tembamnye Ms Aisha, sampai tak boleh bukak mata.. hehe

Day 2 - Wake Up Call

| at 11:53 PM

Wake up in the morning feeling like P Diddy
Grab my glasses, I'm out the door, I'm gonna hit this city
Before I leave, brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack
'Cause when I leave for the night, I ain't coming back

~ KESHA - TIK TOK LYRICS

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6am, 1st June 2012 Jumaat.. Dikejut bangun oleh HA(Hospital Attendant).. Kena bangun macamana pon. Reason being, nanti darah kat perut tak berjalan kalau asik tido je.. Darah dr bhgn bawah dah banyak mengalir smpi tembus ke katil. Ade ke masa ni nak feeling-feeling P.Diddy? adelah kot kalau P.Diddy kena tembak.. huhuhu

Straight to washroom, ditemani oleh HA, yelah takut pengsan ke ape-ape ker... then bersihkan darah-darah kat badan n tukar baju.. mandi? Tak mandi pon coz takut air kena kat luka C-zer yg tak kering lagi.. Gosok gigi? pon takde jugak, feeling-feeling Diva katanya.. hahhaha
Then sambung tido, bgn untuk breakfast tapi tak makan and tido sampai ke tengahari..(hebat kan? sah-sah baby takde di sisi untuk dijaga, relaks lah ko senahhh.. hahhaha).. tengahari asben dtg bawak nasi & lauk masak asam rebus. Wahhh, makan macam org kebulur. Yelah, last aku makan on 30May2012, Rabu on 6pm.. la ni dah ari Jumaat pukul 12, hampir 2 hari aku tak makan pape.. Kebulorrrannn sangat!!! huhuhu.. Its not easy to be a mom.. huhuhu

Then asben ajak pegi tgk baby kat NICU.. yeay yeay.. lama tak tgk baby, hanya tgk dia lepas operation and gambar dlm facebook yg asben post.. mood : gembira.
Apo lagi, naik wheelchair la kita.. kata pesakit... sampai kat NICU trus nampak dia yang tengah begitu syiokk tido.. WOW memang besar la Ms Aisha ni klu dibandingkan dengan baby-baby lain dlm wad ni.. double and triple besar.. Why NICU? sebab doctor nak wat observation whether baby ade diabetes ke tak.. Alhamdulillah takde ape2 masalah kecuali kebesarannye..

Cium baby puas2 and say goodbye sebab taknak kacau dia tido.. babai baby, nanti kita jumpe lagi..

balik wad & continuing rest.. asik tengok org sekeliling pegang baby and baby asik nangis je.. org keliling pon tengok aku yg terpinga-pinga tanpa baby.. Sedih? herm sedihlah jugak (T_T).. tapi nak wat camne..

Waktu lawatan petang, along n family, makdak n family, mak abah kaklin and asben datang melawat.. siap puji mak lagi pasal masak asam rebus dia begitu AWESOMEEE, best sangat sebab selalunya aku akan komplen.. asik asik masak asam rebus, asik asik masak asam rebus, masaklah masak asam pedas.. (aku lebih suka masak asam yg ditumis dr direbus.. hahaha).. mak kata, dah ko kebulor memanglah sedap!! hehhehe..

Tapi kesian, diorang datang tanpa dapat tengok Ms Aisha.. NICU on diorang xdapat masuk sebab hanya parent for baby je yg allowed.. frust diorang nak tengok Katak Bobok (panggilan for Ms Aisha sebab dia bulat & besar).. hehehe

Diorang balik and tinggal la aku sorang2 melayan perasaan. Sepanjang malam asik dengar baby nangis je and me, teruskan tido tanpa gangguan..

Peace Out

Frankly speaking, melahirkan anak is my Turning Point. Kembali appreciate ape yang kita ade dalam hidop ini.. Alhamdulillah..

WOW... amazing!!!

| at 12:11 PM

Masa berjalan begitu pantas.. last entry updated on April 2012, itupon criter Honeymoon 2011..
Sudah lama tidak menulis, sekarang terasa begitu kekok. huhuhu
Hari ni ialah Jumaat 27 July 2012 at 1.24am, dgn rasminya meneruskan untuk berusaha mengupdate blog dengan bersungguh-sungguh..
Dan hari ini jugalah genap 58 Hari Ms Hazzel Noor Aisha Bin Noor Azhar muncul memeriahkan lagi kehidupan my asben N me. Alhamdulillah.. this is the best word ever. Sangat bersyukur Ms Aisha sihat walafiat sampai ke hari 58 nya. Walaupon sometimes terasa nak gigit-gigit sebab geram tgk dia "merengek-rengek manja" (actually da gigit da.. hahhaha gigit manja hehehe..) tapi pujuk hati untuk bersabar. DUGAAN, DUGAAN, DUGAAN..
Mom, WOW!! A very strong word. I dont think much when I'm pregnant but after giving birth to a person, WOWWWW... I feel my life is in a new chapter. Banyak benda kena pikir and banyak benda kena korbankan, yang ni kita crite entry lain yek.

~ 28May2012, Monday - 3 days before C-sec ~

Sepanjang mengandung, aku tak banyak masalah kecuali kencing manis. I'm more focused on my job, habiskan keje or adhoc mane yg patut. Ajar my backup about my work and so on, so bila balik dr kerja selalunya penat and tido. On weekends memang tak duduk mengadap pc langsung, i just laid back and rest.
Until i'm undergone my 38 weeks checkup, Saturday, doctor straight issued me a referral letter to nearest hospital that is Hospital Sg Buloh. Decided to go to Sg buloh on Tuesday, sebab kitaorg nak balik kg minggu tu.

Tuesday 29May2012, 10.00 pagi. heading to Sg buloh with happy face. Then register and jumpe pakar kat sane, endup pakar tu suruh balik and pergi masuk wad hari ni jugak sebabnya my baby da terlalu besar. Ya Allah, masa tu memang meraung lah. Satu takut nak operation, and satu lagi keje kat pejabat n masa tu pulok tgh in the midst of applying housing loan. oooh My God. Hanya Allah je yg tahu perasaan masa tu. Puas berbalah dengan doctor utk masuk wad esoknya because nak setelkan pasal kerja and loan. I know, doctor concern about the baby and me but what i think is, kalau ditakdirkan mati pon, harap everything settled and takdelah menyusahkan org.
Ingatkan nak plan pergi buat scan 3D for baby after that, tp bincang ngan asben and dia terpakse tunggu kat San Francisco Coffee yg terletak kat Lobby Menara Citibank. Meanwhile, i'm just finish up my work and delegate to my boss and staff and not forget the loan. All and all, i feel relieved. Thanks B for the understanding.

Wednesday 30May2012, 9.00 pagi. heading to Sg buloh, labour room with sobbing huhuhu. Takutttt that's the word to describe.. huhuhuhu... register, tukar baju and straight kena check ngan nurse. tetibe akak sebelah katil, baru je sampai untuk check and kepala anak da terbojol kluar.. Alhamdulillah, anak ke-3. Aku? trus dapat katil coz tergolong dalam golongan high risk.. Perempuan mengandung lain yang takde masalah?Teruskan duduk kat bangku, waiting and waiting and waiting..
Sometimes, aku keluar menjenguk asben and teman dia berborak. C-sec aku stil tak sure lagi then tunggu and tunggu. Aku ingat lagi suruh asben beli sandwich tuna sebab lapar xmakan malam lg then pukul 6.00petang aku makan sandwich tu and dengar nama kena panggil coz doctor nak wat checkup.

~ Tangan kena cucuk jarum oleh doktor pelatih sampai mengalir sampai ke lantai.. Horror gile ~

~ kesan darah kat lantai dah dikesat dan dibersihkan ~

Kejap lagi doctor smpi and check perot.. Tup tup, amik ko.. they all try to squeeze in untuk C-sec aku tgh malam ni sebab baby aku memang terlebih besar plus tekanan darah aku da naik.. Terkezut giler, rasa takut datang balik.. trus nurse yg bertugas bagi aku baju bedah and pasang salur kencing and panggil asben masuk.. and mak aku pon berjaya masuk.. sedihnya jangan dicakap waktu tuh.. huhuhu stil nangis lagi skang klu teringat. ( drama sangat... )
Thurday 31May2012, 12.00 pagi.still nama aku tak dipanggil untuk bedah, kul 3.00 pagi, nope... kul 5.00 pagi nope... alat untuk denyutan jantung baby asyik dipasang kat badan aku for observation. kul 7.00 pagi aku tanya kat doctor mcmane ngan C-sec aku, doctor cakap malam td terlalu banyak emergency case and my C-sec will be scheduled at 1st operation of the day, 9.00am. Pukul 9.00 am, nama aku tak dipanggil lg and tanya lagi kat nurse, how's the C-sec. then doctor kata kompem kul 10.00am, 2nd operation of the day. About 10.00am, nama aku dipanggil and bersedialah untuk ke operating theatre(OT), mak and asben pon dipanggil for final goodbye. sedeyyyyyyy and takuttttt...
Sampai ke OT, aku tanya doctor What is the procedure and doctor terangkan bla bla and bla then 2 kali suntikan. 1st, pelali and 2nd trus ke tulang belakang. Tapi bila sampai waktu injection aku rasa bukan 2 kali je, tapi mahu jugak lebih 10kali. The reason being, doctor bius tak jumpe tulang belakang aku then tukar doctor bius lain. Hanya mampu selawat jelah aku selama waktu bius tu Masa 30-45minit just spend untuk biuskan aku je.. dah lah sakit, selawat jelah peneman aku and banyak2 mengucap.. takut mati coz dosa banyak tak cover lagi oooiiiii......... masa nilah aku rasa sangat-sangat menyesal selalu gado ngan mak aku.. walaupon kita just gado-gado manja tapi sangat menyesalll...It's not easy to be a mommy... Really!!!

~ 1st pict of Hazzel Noor Aisha at NICU, ayah senyap2 tangkap gambar ~

After bius, doctor Melissa start operate. Aku dengar nurse/doctor kat sebelah push baby kluar dengan jerit " keluar baby keluar.." then kejap lagi dengar baby menangis.. diorg pon letak baby kat atas badan "Body to Body katanya.." while jahit luka. Alhamdulillah, keluarlah Ms Hazzel Noor Aisha seberat 4.76kg, more than weight that we've been expected. Then baby pon dibawa keluar oleh nurse and straight to NICU sebab berat Ms Aisha and need observation for 1@2 night. Menggigil sejuk satu badan after operation, then tanya nurse macam ni ker rasanya after operate. Then dia kata "Iye..", baru lega hati sebab risau plak kalau-kalau ade masalah.
Aku trus dihantar ke wad 6A then berpindah ke wad 6C. Buka mata lebih kurang pukul 7.00pm and straight nampak muka asben. Mood sangat gembira n dia bgtau baby kat NICU.. Nasib baik malam tu baby takde, sebab memang tak larat utk bangun and jaga dia.. Almaklumlah, hospital gomen tak boleh ade org jaga.. forbidden.. Malam tu hanya tido dengan bersungguh-sungguh sahaja bcoz kesan bius still ade lg.

Sambung lagi nanti eh,
Peace out.

For Better & For Worst...~Part 1

| at 1:09 PM

~ Berita gembira datang disertai perasaan yang sangat bersyukur.. Ade jugak perasaan takut nak memulakan hidup baru but Life must go on... ~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ * *~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As usual, memang takde perancangan langsung nak pegi honeymoon ke mana-mana.. but on early Nov11, baru perasan yang aku da lama tak period and after check-up, found out that aku da mengandung 2 bulan lebih..Encik asben gembira tak terkira and terus plan to go honeymoon... ape lagi, kumpul sume duit yang ade, then start applying and registering ape yang perlu...

Setelah membuat kajian, revision, tanya pendapat org sana-sini-sinun and Finally, decided to go :

AMSTERDAM-MANCHESTER-LONDON-PARIS-ROME..

~baru sampai at Schipol Airport Amsterdam ~

mesti keluar perkataan WAAAAAHHHHH gitu.... yelah tak teragak-agak nak gi cuti keliling Europe(tak keliling sangat pon)

hahhaha bukan ape, actually we are planning for long holiday in 2012 but with this GOOD surprise, everything sudah jadi maju ke depan.. hahahahhah.. so 2012, no holiday for me.. hahhahhaha

Alhamdulillah, everything going smoothly from booking hotels, flights from Schipol Airport(Amsterdam) to Manchester Airport and from Orly Airport(Paris) to Fiumicino Airport (Rome), train from St, Pancras International Station(London) to Gare du Nord station(Paris). Terima kasih pada encik asben yang terel meng'google'kan diri... Jasamu memang ku kenang..

All the booking siap dalam masa tak sampai 3 minggu.. Wahhh saya pon rasa kagum...

~kluar pagi untuk pg tour ke kawasan-kawasan lain dalam Netherland~

Alhamdulillah jugak because for my early pregnancy, takdelah kena morning sickness or alergik.. just kena lenguh-lenguh badan because selalu melambat-lambatkan aktiviti pemakanan sihat.. hehehe

Akhirnya malam 14Nov2011 yang lebat, kami pon pergi ke KLIA dengan harapan flight tak penuh as encik asben in on waiting list.. alhamdulilah, dapat jugak ticket then off we go.... Penerbangan 13 jam ke Amsterdam is full of wondering thought. Yelah, skang kat Amsterdam nun musim sejuk.. macamanelah musim sejuk tu yek.. dapat ker main salji? huhuhuhu.. syukurlah naik MAS, semua ditanggung beres..

Setelah sampai di Schipol airport, wahhhh... tak nampak ape2 even Control tower sebab kabus sangat tebal... Keluar dr airport without any baju sejuk, just nak try how it feel.. rasa best and sejuk sampai asap kluar dari mulut.. hahahahha macam org gayat... hehehhehe

Setelah selesai merasai cuaca tempatan, terus cari tren untuk pergi ke hotel.. tak susah sangatlah nak menggunakan tren. klu takut salah try tanya orang local kat situ.. berjaya sampai kat hotel then letak beg then kluar jejalan sekejap.. nak tengok-tengok ape yg ade kat kawasan tu. After all, kita memang tinggal kat kawasan Red Light District.. hehhe

Jalan punya jalan, berjaya membeli 2 tiket Tour ke kawasan-kawasan dalam Netherland macam Delpth and banyak lg...

~ walaupon nampak gemuk, tapi saya bangga menayangkan baju Peng-Yu ~

" Depan The Hague... "

The next day bersiap untuk berlepas ke Manchester United y'all naik Easyjet... sampai kat airport, mencari-cari arah ke MU stadium.. yelah, katanya hotel Premier Inn tu depan stadium je.. then advised by local naik bus, then proceed naik trem.. nak naik bus plak, takde duit kecit.. huhuhu nak tukar kat kedai runcit, dia pon kata xde duit pecah.. hampehnya.. terlepas jugak lah 2, 3 bas.. at last, jumpe driver bus yg sanggup menukar duit we all dgn duit dia sendiri.. ya allah, syukur sangat...

ingatkan lepas turun dr trem, stadium akan kelihatan dengan indahnya... tapi biasalah, kena jalan dalam 1 to 2 km brlah ternampak MU stadium.. memang gah.. tapi kawasan keliling biase saje.. n nasib baik seperti yg tertulis, hotel tu memang depan sikit dr stadium... Aku mencadangkan memilih Hotel Premier Inn sepanjang berada di UK bcoz very comfortable, budget and ade Fish'n'Chip yg sangat sedap.. huhuhuhu

For breakfast the next day, begging mr asben for proper bfast.. makan buffet but pilihlah mane yg pork-free... hehe reason being, tengah ngandung n muak plak makan sardin&roti.. hehehe.. then off to Tour at MU stadium.. tak ingat ape cer, tapi we end-up taking the last tour of the day.. seb baik lah kan.. klu tak putih mata....

~ Nak pegang rumput pon xpat.. dijaga rapi oleh Sir Alex Ferguson, Tabik spring kat dia... jauh beza ngan Stadium Bukit Jalil, tak boleh compare langsung padang turf nye... ~

oooo br tringat, MU pukul 5 da gelap.. huhuhu so Stadium tutup awal... hehe.. lepas kluar straight pegi kedai MU, mata ku sungguh terpikat dengan baby romper versi MU warna merah n biru belang-belang.. Rege 10pound... tapi malas nak beli, huhuhu.. nyesal plak... tapi xpelah.. then amik gambar and balik hotel....

~ muka poyo masuk Stadium ~

Bersiap utk check-out and off to London by Bus.. wah... yang ni horror... maybe kita salah booked bus & we endup abiskan masa 5 jam untuk sampai ke London, Victoria station... tapi yang aku perasan, bus ni memang banyak masuk kawasan yang ade University.. sibuk lah jugak tgk ade student cam org Malaysia ke tak? tapi memang macam ade pon.. hahhahaha... tapi memang penat sangat duduk dlm bus yg kita tak boleh estimate masa sampainya.. Rimas..

~ The next day.. London Bridge station ~

Akhirnya sampai lah di Victoria Station and hari pon da gelap.. berjalan kaki dengan prot yg lapar(sepatutnya kena tapau something bila naik bus.. huhuhu...) then, nak kena cari jalan ke Premier Inn Stratford lagi... agak confused utk ke Stratford sebab banyak tempat nama Startford and London Tube begitu banyak tren.. And luckily, we pick the correct tren.. tapi tak dapat mencari di manakah Premier Inn nye.. ikut peta, kena masuk shopping mall ni then keluar kat Carpark C then di situlah hotelnya.. tapi cari-cari tak jumpe.. dahlah nak pengsan ni.. at last, ade satu mamat org putih ni tegur we all... takut lak tetibe.. but dia kata " I just want to help because you look lost".. then tanya ah dia, the answer is " Just around the corner.." 5 tapak je corner tu, then nampak Premier inn.. walau wehhhh... syukur sangat.. tp terperanjat jugak sebab hotel tu attached dengan shopping mall.. hahhahaha.. check in, makan ape yg ade then tido... penat giler...

To be continued...

Peace out...

~penatnya nak abiskan entry ni.. dah lebih setengah tahun pg Honeymooon but the entry tak boleh nak siap.. hahhahah

Dr. Dre - I Need A Doctor (Explicit) ft. Eminem, Skylar Grey

Labels: Benda Baek | at 9:27 AM

[Hook: Skylar Grey]
I'm about to lose my mind
You’ve been gone for so long, I’m runnin' outta time
I need a doctor, call me a doctor
I need a doctor, doctor to bring me back to life

[Verse 1: Eminem]
I told the world one day I would pay it back
Say it on tape, and lay it, record it so that one day I could play it back
But I don’t even know if I believe it when I’m sayin' that
Doubts startin' to creep in, everyday it's just so grey and black
Hope, I just need a ray of that, cause no one sees my vision
When I play it for ‘em, they just say it's wack, they don’t know what dope is
And I don’t know if I was awake or asleep when I wrote this
All I know is you came to me when I was at my lowest
You picked me up, breathed new life in me, I owe my life to you
But for the life of me, I don't see why you don't see like I do
But it just dawned on me you lost a son, demons fighting you, it’s dark
Let me turn on the lights and brighten me and enlighten you
I don't think you realise what you mean to me, not the slightest clue
Cause me and you were like a crew, I was like your sidekick
You gon either wanna fight me when I get off this fuckin' mic
Or you gon' hug me, but I'm outta options, there's nothin' else I can do cause

[Hook]

[Verse 2: Eminem]
It hurts when I see you struggle, you come to me with ideas
You say they're just pieces, so I’m puzzled, cause the shit I hear is crazy
But you're either gettin' lazy or you don’t believe in you no more
Seems like your own opinions, not one you can form
Can't make a decision you keep questionin' yourself
Second guessin' and it's almost like your beggin' for my help
Like I’m your leader, you're supposed to fuckin' be my mentor
I can endure no more I demand you remember who you are
It was YOU, who believed in me when everyone was tellin'
You don't sign me, everyone at the fuckin' label, let's tell the truth
You risked your career for me, I know it as well as you
Nobody wanted to fuck with the white boy, Dre, I’m cryin' in this booth
You saved my life, now maybe it's my turn to save yours
But I can never repay you, what you did for me is way more
But I ain't givin' up faith and you ain't givin' up on me
Get up Dre I'm dyin', I need you, come back for fuck’s sake

[Hook]

[Verse 3: Dr. Dre]
It literally feels like a lifetime ago
But I still remember the shit like it was just yesterday, though
You walked in, yellow jump suit, whole room, cracked jokes
Once you got inside the booth, told you, mic smoke
Went through friends, some of them I put on, but they just left
They said they was ridin' to the death, but where the fuck are they now?
Now that I need them, I don't see none of them
All I see is Slim, fuck all you fair-weather friends, all I need is him
Fuckin' backstabbers, when the chips were down you just laughed at us
Now you bout to feel the fuckin' wrath of Aftermath, faggots
You gon' see us in our lab jackets and ask us where the fuck we been?
You can kiss my indecisive ass crack, maggots
And the crackers' ass, little cracker jack beat
Makin' wack math, backwards producers, I'm back bastards
One more CD and then I’m packin' up my bags and as I’m leavin'
I’ll guarantee they scream, "Dre, don’t leave us like that man!" cause

suka lagu ni jugak.. huhu I need a Doctor, call me as Doctor................................... tetttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt...............

Bad Meets Evil - Lighters ft. Bruno Mars

Labels: Benda Baek | at 9:14 AM

[Hook: Bruno Mars]
This ones for you and me living out our dreams
We're all right where we should be
With my arms out wide, I open my eyes and now all I wanna see
Is a sky full of lighters, a sky full of lighters

[Verse 1: Eminem]
By the time you hear this, I will have already spiraled up
I would never do nothing to let you cowards fuck my world up
If I was you I would duck, or get struck like lightnin’
Fighters keep fightin’, put you lighters up, point them skyward, uh
Had a dream I was king, I woke up still king
Rap game’s nipple is mine for the milking
'til nobody else even fuckin’ feels me, 'til it kills me
I swear to God I’ll be the fuckin’ illest in this music
There is, or there ever will be, disagree? Feel free
But from now on I’m refusing to ever give up
Only thing I ever gave up’s using, no more excuses
Excuse me, if my head is too big for this building
And pardon me if I’m a cocky prick, but you cocks are slick
Poppin’ shit on how you flipped your life around, crock of shit
Who you dicks tryna kid? Flip dick you did opposite
You stayed the same, cause cock backwards is still cock you pricks
I love it when I tell them shove it cause it wasn’t that
Long ago when Marshall sat flustered, lacked luster
Cause he couldn’t cut mustard, muster up nothing
Brain fuzzy cause he’s buzzin’, woke up from that buzzer
Now you wonder why he does it how he does it? Wasn’t cause he had buzzards
Circling around his head waiting for him to drop dead, was it?
Or was it cause some bitches wrote him off? Little hussy ass scuzzes
Fuck it, guess it doesn’t matter now, does it?
What difference it make? What’s it take to get it through your thick skulls
That this ain’t, some bullshit people don’t usually come back this way
From a place that was dark as I was in just to get to this place
Now let these words be like a switchblade to a hater’s ribcage
And let be known from this day forward, I wanna just say thanks
Cause your hate is what gave me the strength
So let them Bics raise cause I came with 5'9" but I feel like I’m 6'8"

[Hook]

[ Verse 2: Royce]
By the time you hear this I probably already be outty
I advance like going from toting iron
To going and buying 4 or 5 of the homies the Iron Man Audi
My daddy told me, "Slow down boy, you're going to blow it."
And I ain't gotta stop the beat a minute
To tell Shady I love him, the same way that he did Dr. Dre on the Chronic
Tell him how real he is or how high I am
Or how I would kill for him, for him to know it
I cried plenty tears, my daddy got a bad back
So it's only right, that I write till he can march right
In to that post office and tell 'em to hang it up
Now his career's LeBron's Jersey in 20 years
I stop when I'm at the very top
You shitted on me on your way up, there's 'bout to be a scary drop
Cause what goes up, must come down
You goin down I'm something you don't wanna see, like a hairy box
Every hour, happy hour now, life is wacky now
Used to have to eat the cat to get the pussy
Now I'm just the cat's meow, oow, outclass the count
Always down for the catchweight, like Pacquiao
Y'all are doomed, I remember when T-Pain ain't wanna work with me
My car starts itself, parks itself and auto-tunes
Cause now I'm in the Aston, I went from having my city locked up
To getting treated like Kwame Kilpatrick
And now I'm fantastic, compared to a weed high
And y'all niggas just gossiping like bitches
On a radio and TV, see me, we fly
Y'all bugging out like Wendy Williams staring at a bee hive
And how real is that? I remember signing my first deal
Now I'm the second best, I can deal with that
Now Bruno can show his ass, without the MTV awards gag

[Bridge: Bruno Mars]
You and I know what it's like
To be kicked down, forced to fight
But tonight, we're all right
So hold up your lights, let it shine, because

[Hook]

--------------------------------------------------------

peace suker giler lagu ni... lagi suke tgk video clipnye.. sy mahu tengok itu LIGHTER banyak di angkasa.. mau sesangat... huhuhuhu chantekkkkk........

Inai suda hampir hilang dr jejari ku...

| at 10:32 PM

selesai sudah Majlis kawinku... bak kata makdak, dah basi baru nak publish gambar. hehehhe.. Anyway alhamdullillah.. everything going smoothly...

kenape terlalu cepat :
this is FAQ. mane taknya, merisik awal bulan 6, kawin bulan 7. terperanjat beruk dgr decision dr abah... nangis jgn tak nangis.. macam kena pakse kawin pon ade... tapi memang kagum ngan abah, every decision yg dia buat, org lain dah tak boleh sangkal lagi.. just follow....

Alhamdulillah, segalanya selesai and everything is complete.. takde satu benda persiapan kawin pon yg tertinggal.. kagum.. kagum.. kagum.. tengok both family buat perancangan and execute, memang hebat.. tabik spring toing toing toing...

~ Haji Hassan Othman & Hajah Zenab Burok Family ~

berbanyak terima kasih kepada encik asben.. memanglah org kata waktu bertunang tu banyak pancarobanya... walaupon kita tak bertunang tapi ade merisik.. in 1 month, Masyallah, macam2 hal... encik asben sentiasa firm with the wedding plan, memang appreciate... klu tidak, xde wedding kot.... huhuhuhuhuhu.. so beware for single-to-be-married..

tapi entahlah, eventhough 1 bulan tu sekejap, tapi everything macam smooth sangat.. trima kasih pada kaklin and fatin yang banyak tolong pasal hantaran and melayan kerenah saya yang inginkan warna "PINK + SILVER" menjadi tema... tak tau nape pinksilver but tetibe terpikir coz tak ramai lagi yang pakai warna tu.. nak ikutkan, Pink is not my color.. makdak pon terperanjat dengar warna tema " impossible katanya" hahhaha.. ramai yang kata "peliknya color yg ko pilih" and i'm clueless why that color.. hahhahaha endup, that color is so sweet.. hehehe sesuai and ceria sangat... so blessing..

setelah 3 bulan berlalu, stil menangis klu tengok gambar kawin.. entah lah sebak rasanya.. trima kasih kat kawan-kawan yg dtg memeriahkan kan suasana.. yang wish, the thought is matter.. terima kasih.. alhamdulillah...

~ tetibe photographer suruh pandang luar, sy trus tersentap tgk encik asben di luar tingkap tepi jalan, baru sampai.. huhu~

stil teringat abah sebak mase majlis nikah.. siap dgr ade org cakap "patutlah imam sedih, ni anak bongsu dia kawin.." huhu.. And mak jangan cakaplah.. setiap kali nampak muka aku, air mata dia akan mengalir jek.. sebak giler... aku plak asik kena marah sebab mess up my make up... tq kat tukang andam.. cantik hasil kerjanya n ramai org berminat.. hahhahhahaha

for gambar, this is a last minute photographer that i had chose.. but turn out the picture is awesome.. not me but the view is so greatttt.. suka sangat..every single photos, there is a story behind that make me smile n nangis jugak.. hahhaha

aku? dengan tak sempat nak kurusnye.. bagai dipam-pam dalam gambar.. hahhahah tq encik-encik photographer.. then we also take video for our wedding.. mak aih... susah giler nak wat video clip ni... ponattttt sangat.. memang penat sampai terpikir " why am i sign up for this??" huhuhuhu.. tapi hasilnya funny giler... lawak tgk aku begitu besar hahhahaha

sampai saat ni, tak sangka aku da kawin.. keep asking encik asben, kita dah kawin eh? hehehhe stil rase macam kluar dating lagi... funny... aku pernah bayangkan yang bila time kawin, aku hanya perlu hadirkan diri jek... tapi tak sangka itu yg betol-betol terjadi dalam hidup ni.. hahhahahhaha