Kisah Pis

New Chapter : Minggu pertama pantang

1) Sebab da smuggle bagi susu formula kat baby, baby Aisha macam 4 hari tak berak.. sangat risau tetapi hari ke 5 hasilnya ? Wowsieee hehe.....

2) Pergi jumpe lawyer dekat Bangsar.. hehehe baby Aisha tidur atas meja and senyum.. hihihihi

3) Balik melaka dengan hati yang sedih sebab tinggalkan ayah kat KL. huhuhu sian ayah...

~ Ms Aisha baru kena cucuk amik darah for jaundis at Seremban Klinik Dhilon ~

Peace out
Kasihnya ibu membawa ke Syurga, Kasihnya saudara masa berada. Berkorban raga, rela binasa. Berkorban nyawa, tanda kasihnya..
Kasihnya ayah sanggupkah berpisah. Dan kasih anak, berkorban jiwa. Biar lah jiwa akan tersiksa, Ikhlas dan rela asalkan bahagia..
~ The meaning so deep and Now I understand it very well ~

Day 7 - Close and Open..

| at 7:35 AM

8am 6th June 2012, Rabu, wake up, waiting for doctor.. doctor komen " xpayahlah check awak, awak dah sihat kan? tunggu result kuning baby saje "... noted and bye bye doctor...

terus menyibukkan diri untuk perah susu for baby.. chayokkk... bila baby bangun terus bagi direct feeding. memang sakit tapi ini hak baby.. dan saya ni agak tradisional orangnya, so masih mengamalkan adat-adat org dulu-dulu.. hehhehe poyo..

mr asben datang waktu lunch sebab mak and abah balik kampung sekejap.. sebelum tu baby da meraung kena cucuk amik darah.. Now doctor datang and cakap baby da boleh keluar hospital arini.. Hati ni punya lah gembira tak terkira.. Alhamdulillah.......................................................................................

dengan muka gembira, bersemangat kemas barang-barang baby.. takde kata-kata yang boleh gambarkan, hanya Allah saje yang tahu... Mr asben pulak sibuk snap snap gambar baby...

Tapi terima kasih jugak pada Mr asben, sebab dialah ade jugak kenangan Ms Aisha duduk di hospital 7 hari.. Thanks B and lots of loba-loba..

Baby Aisha, finally kita nak balik and jejakkan kaki ke rumah baru kita........... Hoyeahhhhh...

The New Chapter of My life begins now :

BOYZONE ~ Picture Of You

Didn't they say that I would make a mistake
Didn't they say you were gonna be trouble
People told me you were too much to take
I couldn't see it I didn't want to know
I let you in and you let me down
You messed me up and you turned my life around

You left me feeling I had nowhere to go
I was alone how was I to know that

You'd be there when I needed somebody
You'd be there the only one who could help me

I had a picture of you in my mind
Never knew it could be so wrong
Why'd it take me so long just to find
The friend that was there all along

Who'd believe that after all we've been through
I'd be able to put my trust in you
Goes to show you can forgive and forget
Looking back I have no regrets 'cause

You'd be there, when I needed somebody
You'd be there, the only one who could help me

I had a picture of you in my mind
Never knew it could be so wrong
Why'd it take me so long just to find?
The friend that was there all along

You'd be there, when I needed somebody
You'd be there, the only one who could help me

I had a picture of you in my mind
Never knew it could be so wrong
Why'd it take me so long just to find
The friend that was there all along

I had a picture of you in my mind
Never knew it could be so wrong
Why'd it take me so long just to find
The friend that was there all along

I had a picture of you in my mind
Never knew it could be so wrong
Why'd it take me so long just to find

Peace out
Tak kisah kat mane kita berada, kita mesti saling sayang menyayang.. Rules of thumb...
Lagu ini ditujukan khas untuk my asben, baby Aisha and entire clan.
Rambut baby Aisha macam Adventures of Tintin.. already take mind picture, snap!! snap!!.. hehehe

Day 6 - Always Have, Always Will...

| at 5:38 PM

8am 5th June 2012, Selasa.. hari ke-6, same rutin.. blood pressure taken and surprisingly went down.. what the ??? sekejap lagi Doctor rounding... Doctor cakap " Ohh, awak dah sihat ni, dah boleh balik TAPI, baby kena kuning ye? herm awak duduk la dulu hospital ye.. tunggu baby pulak yang sihat..." huhuhuhuhu, menangis dalam hati tiada sape yang tahu...
sebab baby kena Jundis, every 3 hours dia kena amik darah.. kesian sangat... asik dengar jeritan dari jauh..
then baby kena pakai double light, kesian tgk badan dia kering je.. huhuhuhu kesian....
dapat pulak light yg asik nak jatuh je, kekadang xperasan hampir kena badan baby.. panas tu lampu biru tuh...
yang susahnya, Ms Hazzel ni pandai tolak cermin mata dia.. kekadang klu xperasan, selambe je dia ngan xpakai cermin mata tu, mengadap lampu biru tuh.. hadoiiii biru mata hitamku...
kalau Jaundis, kena slalu bg susu.. sebab supply susu dah ade, xdela risau sangat dalam hati.. senyap-senyap wat projek "SUSU"...
petang 2pm, jiran depan katil yg sama-sama berjuang telah dibenarkan balik rumah... wahhhhhh mau melaung dibuatnya.. bila nak balik ni... huhuhuhu i'm alone tonight.. huhuhuhu mengelamun bila baby tido, pikirkan masa depan yg kelam huhuhu..

Petang kul 3pm, nurse tanya.. "susu badan da ade ke kak? ".. jawab " xde lah dik.. risaunye..."
dia panggil nurse praktikal, and instruct tolong urutkan and pam bagi susu keluar...
ape lagi, sementara baby tido ni jom wat projek perah susu.. dapatlah sikit tapi tetap bersyukur... tapi yg penting, susu itu adalah susu awal - Colostrom... penuh dengan antibodi untuk baby.. pekat likat and cepat memejal... warna pon kuning-telur sket gitu.. Alhamdulillah, kebesaran Allah...

Selesai mengepam, balik kat katil semula and tgk jiran sibuk mengemas.. begitu happy.. yelah dia pon dah hari ke-7 kat dalam wad ni... Jiran siap bagi kurma nabi and nasihat supaya selawat and selalu doa supaya susu banyak...

Celine Dion - The Power of Love

The whispers in the morning
Of lovers sleeping tight
Are rolling like thunder now
As I look in your eyes

I hold on to your body
And feel each move you make
Your voice is warm and tender
A love that I could not forsake

Cause I'm your lady
And you are my man
Whenever you reach for me
I'll do all that I can

Even though there may be times
It seems I'm far away
Never wonder where I am
Cause I am always by your side

Cause I'm your lady
And you are my man
Whenever you reach for me
I'll do all that I can

We're heading for something
Somewhere I've never been
Sometimes I am frightened
But I'm ready to learn
Of the power of love

The sound of your heart beating
Made it clear Suddenly...

the feeling that I can't go on
Is light years away

Cause I'm your lady

And you are my man
Whenever you reach for me
I'm gonna do all that I can

We're heading for something
Somewhere I've never been
Sometimes I am frightened
But I'm ready to learn
Of the power of love

Petang asben datang and jiran pon ready nak balik dah... lepas asben balik, tinggal lagi 2 beranak ni layan perasaan..

Setelah diurut tadi, Alhamdulillah... mengalir-ngalir susu badan kiri dan kanan.. so malam ni pulun wat projek mengepam susu badan.. bila baby bangun je, trus bagi susu badan walaupun sakit bila dia isap coz cara isapan baby yang salah.. lagipon mulut baby kecit, xtau lagi nak bukak mulut besar-besar to suck, resulted baby just suck a small portion of nipple.. tu yang sakit sangat tuh.. then kejap lagi dia tido and me? teruskan projek "Perahan" alone..

Tengah bz perah punya perah, tetibe ade nurse datang check patient.. nurse tgk aku tengah perah susu, then dia pon ajar cara perah yang betul.. ikut kaedah "MARMET". memang terpancut-pancut la susu kalau buat kaedah ni.. aku sampai kelam kabut nak kutip susu, membazir kalau terbuang... then ucapkan terima kasih kat nurse sebab tolong ajarkan cara ni.. siap puji lagi cakap cara ni bagus, senang susu keluar berbanding perah biasa.. nurse pon dengan selambe cakap "awak tak tanya, xdelah kami ajar.."

herm serba salah hidop ni, tanya salah.. tak tanya pon salah.. redha jelah..

sepanjang malam memang aku abiskan masa untuk perah susu untuk baby.. baby pon xbanyak masalah malam tu.. hidup agak tenang, yelah da nak masuk hari ke-7 beb.........

peace out

sampai sekarang still rasa setitik susu ibu itu adalah tersangat berharga.

still rasa nak belanja McD untuk jururawat yg menolong & memberi nasihat

Day 5 - Sudah Cukup Cukup Sudah, Cukup Sampai Di Sini Saja...

| at 8:16 PM

8am 4th June 2012, Isnin memulakan hari dengan daily Blood Pressure checkup. still 140 atas... huhuhu sedey lah.. bila nak turun ni???
asik pikir, bila nak balik ni??? macamane nak bg baby susu nih??? huhuhuhu .. seb baik lah org depan katil pon senasib jugak.. bersama-samalah meluah kan rasa masing-masing..
Hari ni mak xde, dah balik kg.. tinggal encik asben yg dtg menjengukkan diri... tq, sgt-sgt appreciate.. huhu.. petang kaklin n fren dtg.. jap lg, angah n kak ina dtg.. huhuhu tq allsss...
kaklin dtg dengan mission - smuggling susu formula... cian baby, coz ibu xde susu badan.. so, ibunya telah dinasihatkan utk smuggle susu, vole??? hehhehe terpaksa, nak idup punya pasal.. huhuhu...

tirai terus ditutup habis untuk memulakan mission.. semua berkumpul di katil dan bemula lah operasi "SUSU".. kak ina ditugaskan untuk memberi susu pakai picagari.. ngeh ngeh ngeh.. bagi punya bagi, sampai baby pon terus geleng kapla.... memang cute sangat hehhehe..
macamamne dia boleh geleng kapla pon kitaorg tak tahu.. then try lagi bagi susu.. again!!! geleng kapla lagi.. semua ketawa tak henggat punya... lawak sangatttt...
fuhhh terel terel.. baru lahir brape hari, dah pandai geleng kapla hahhahaha....
baby pon di kembalikan ke ibunya... sila tgk gambar di bawah : inilah expression baby after penat geleng kepala.. hangin tak henggat, sebab kitaorg dok gelakkan dia.. hehhehehe trus merah muka, marah...
still lagi ketawa, bila ingat waktu ni.. hehhehehehehe....

Beyonce - HALO

Remember those walls I built
Well, baby they're tumbling down
And they didn't even put up a fight
They didn't even make up a sound

I found a way to let you in
But I never really had a doubt
Standing in the light of your halo
I got my angel now

It's like I've been awakened
Every rule I had you breakin'
It's the risk that I'm takin'
I ain't never gonna shut you out

Everywhere I'm looking now
I'm surrounded by your embrace
Baby I can see your halo
You know you're my saving grace

You're everything I need and more
It's written all over your face
Baby I can feel your halo
Pray it won't fade away

I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo
I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo uu..

Hit me like a ray of sun
Burning through my darkest night
You're the only one that I want
Think I'm addicted to your light

I swore I'd never fall again
But this don't even feel like falling
Gravity can't forget
To pull me back to the ground again

Feels like I've been awakened
Every rule I had you breakin'
The risk that I'm takin'
I'm never gonna shut you out

Everywhere I'm looking now
I'm surrounded by your embrace

Baby I can feel your halo
Pray it won't fade away

I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo
I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo u u..
Halooo uu, haloooo uuuuu...

Everywhere I'm looking now
I'm surrounded by your embrace
Baby I can see your halo
You know you're my saving grace

You're everything I need and more
It's written all over your face
Baby I can feel your halo
Pray it won't fade away

I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo
I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo uu...

Lepas diorang balik, tinggallah anak beranak ni lagi.. sebelum tuh sempat lagi meraung kat asben, nak balik umahhhhhhh... huhuhuhuhu..

dalam pukul 8 lebih, nurse datang check blood pressure.. tetibe dia terus hilang and kejap lagi datang la doktor.. said " anak kamu ke kena report KUNING??? " ..

aku : "HUH?????".. Ooohhh, patutlah kawasan mulut dia ade kuning-kuning skettt... huhuhu

doktor pon check and terus amik dia periksa darah.. dengar suara baby menangis dari jauh.. kesiannnnn....

then doktor kompem yg baby ade kuning, trus kena pakai double light coz dia kan besar...

Baby sepatutnya kena duduk selalu dlm lampu tu, tapi sebab dia asik bukak cermin mata dia, buat aku selalu angkat dia keluar.. asik kena tegur dengan nurse.. aku pegi dekat nurse tanya solution, sume taknak tolong.. adelah makcik hospital attendent tolong watkan cermin mata guna topi tapi dengar nurse lain cakap, "hah kak X rajin nak tolong, biarkan dia tolong..."

eh, macam tu ke ko cakap ngan patient, bersabar je aku....

lebih kurang kul 9, aku kena tegur lagi pasal xletak baby dlm lampu.. dia ckplah kesan Jaundis kat baby kalau lambat baik. aku pon benganglah.. dah lah mintak tolong, dia xnak tolong lepas tu nak preach plak... kali ni aku cakap lepas je...

aku : dah saya mintak tolong xde orang nak tolong.. baby plak memang tangan dia kuat nak tolak cermin mata tu.. macamane saya nak buat.

nurse : ade caranya, awak yang tak tanya..(dengan muka kelat).. awak kena selalu letakkan dia dlm tu, even awak angkat dia nak susukan pon, biarkan saje lampu tu terbuka.. biar dia rasa terbiasa dengan lampu tu.

aku : betol jugak..(sambil mengangguk)

stil sedeyyyy, huhuuhuh..kesiankan baby.. huhuhuhu

peace out
Wondering : Bila la nak abis episod sedih ni.

Day 4 - What Doesn't Kill You Make You Stronger

| at 3:56 PM

8am 3rd June 2012, Ahad.. memulakan hari dengan daily Blood Pressure checkup. Tak turun lagi? still 140 atas... huhuhu hangin dengan badan sendiri seperti aku hangin bila tahu ade kencing manis masa mengandung..
Rounding conduct by Dr Melissa, aka doc yg operate aku.. dengar dia ckp kat doctor pelatih " Give her a break.. 1st child and alone, memanglah BP dia tinggi..".. terharu dengar doctor cakap macam tu.. yelah mlm semalam tido pukul 3@4 pagi kot? dah lah xpernah jaga baby sebelum ni. huhuhu sedeyyyyy... tak dapat jugak kluar ospital huhuhu...

Kejap lagi baby bangun, try bagi susu badan kat dia tapi dia xpuas. Kesian.. asik menangis je. sorg nurse shif pg ni mmg baik, dia tanya nape n bawak baby pergi susu. Katanya, baby awak besar memanglah dia xpuas nyusu, lgpon awal2 lagi mane ade susu sangat... Trima kasih nurse.. huhuhu terharu sgt.. kejap lagi dapat baby yg dah lena...

Then masa berlalu begitu pantas.. sepanjang masa aku hanya pikir macamane nak bagi baby susu.. huhuhu bila tengok dia nangis, ngilu rasanya... biar dia menangis sebab aku "babab" dia, tak sampai hati tengok dia nangis lapar.
Setiap kali asben aku nak balik, mesti aku bantai meraung tak henggat punya..sedih coz nak sangat balik rumah, coz ade org yang lebih arif untuk guide/tolong kita.. MAK huhuhu..
nak-nak bila hari da nak malam and dapat nurse "I" yang tidak berhati perot tuh.. bertambah sedih... (T_T)

lebih kurang pukul 12am, baby akan bangun nak nyusu then bagilah nenen kat dia.. as usual, baby xpuas isap coz memang takde susu pon.. and dia menangis and menangis and menangis.. then datanglah nurse "I" ni :

Nurse "I" : bagilah anak awak tu susu?

Aku : Dah.. tapi macam xde susu..

Nurse "I" : ye ker? eh mengandung 6 bulan da ade susulah..(dengan muka taik tahap cipan, ingat org bohong agaknya.. bodohh...)

Aku : Betollll... sy da bagi dah kat baby tapi dia menangis juga...

Nurse "I" : Masukkan semua puting awak tuh...

Aku : Da masuk lah.. Mulut baby kecik macamane nak masuk semua...

Nurse "I" : Masuklah, masukkkk.. sambil tonyoh-tonyoh puting aku kat mulut baby dengan kasarnya.. baby nangis gile-gile bila ditonyoh-tonyoh..

Aku : (Dalam hati menyumpah seranah lah Nurse "I" ni.. kasarnya!!!.. apalah salahnya ko tolong menenangkan baby ni.. kan ko belajar semua ni bodoh.. punyalah malas ko nak layan patient.. memanglah kalau jumpe ular dengan ko baik pukul ko dulu.. psycho!!.. dah lah aku bayar income tax untuk bayar gaji kau, bahlolll.... )

Nurse "I" : Terus amik baby yang tengah menangis and cakap "Awak ni tak sayang baby!!!.."

Aku : (Nak aje aku jerit : kalau aku tak sayang baby, takdelah aku berdiam diri tengok ko bodoh-bodohkan aku, bangangggg!!!")

kejap lagi Nurse "I" yg bodoh tu datang balik bawak mangkuk kecik....

Nurse "I" : Nah!! ni mangkuk kecik dan saya nak awak perah susu awak sekarang..

Aku : (Hah, ko nak tengok sangatkan.. aku pon perah, keluarlah setitik.. pastu takde dah.. hah puas hati kau???)

Nurse "I" tu pon tolong perah tapi takde pape yang kluar.. lepas tu dia pon belah, tak muncul lagi... kan aku da cakap tapi ko sombong, bongkak, takbur.. macam ko sorang je yg belajar pasal kebidanan ni.. sister yang dah lama keje pon tak berlagak macam ko tau!!.. setakat kacang kecit ko nak berlagak macam ko lah Director kat Hospital ni.. Fuck You Lah.. Geram sangat hati kat pompuan bodoh ni.. Ish Ish Ish..)

Kelly Clarkson - Stronger (What Doesn't Kill You)

You know the bed feels warmer

Sleeping here alone

You know I dream in color

And do the things I want

You think you got the best of me

Think you've had the last laugh

Bet you think that everything good is gone

Think you left me broken down

Think that I'd come running back

Baby you don't know me, cause you're dead wrong

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger

Stand a little taller

Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone

What doesn't kill you makes a fighter

Footsteps even lighter

Doesn't mean I'm over cause you're gone

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stronger

Just me, myself and I

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger

Stand a little taller

Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone

You heard that I was starting over with someone new

They told you I was moving on over you

You didn't think that I'd come back

I'd come back swinging

You try to break me But you see...

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger

Stand a little taller

Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone

What doesn't kill you makes a fighter

Footsteps even lighter

Doesn't mean I'm over cause you're gone

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stronger

Just me, myself and I

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger

Stand a little taller

Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone

Thanks to you I got a new thing started

Thanks to you I'm not the broken-hearted

Thanks to you I'm finally thinking 'about me

You know in the end the day you left was just my beginning

In the end...

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger

Stand a little taller

Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone

What doesn't kill you makes a fighter

Footsteps even lighter

Doesn't mean I'm over cause you're gone

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stronger

Just me, myself and I

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger

Stand a little taller

Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stronger

Just me, myself and I

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger

Stand a little taller

Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone

Tapi aku tetap menangis malam tu mengenangkan nasib diri yang takde susu nak bagi kat baby.. aku memang jenis orang yang tak suka mintak tolong/menyusahkan orang tapi baby tak bersalah.. kesian sangat tengok dia menangis... huhuhu
Lepas 10 minit, nurse hantar balik baby yang dah terlena and dia terus terlena sampai pagi..
Aku? teruskan menangis teresak-esak keseorangan, takde orang nak mintak tolong huhuhuhu.. senang cerite memang tak cukup tido lah malam tu, hiba...

Pasal Nurse "I" yang kasar tu aku tak pernah cerita dengan sape-sape.. aku rasa kalau cerita dengan kakak aku or asben mahu jugak aku suruh diaorang launch komplen kat minah tu.. tapi entahlah.. What Goes Around, Comes Around.. Hari ni hari kau, esok maybe hari aku.. takde sape yang tahu..

Peace out
Sedar Dunia Itu Berputar
Sedar Susu Ibu Is The Best
Sedar Baby Hazzel Noor Aisha Noor Azhar Sangatlah Chumell.. period..

Day 3 - The Way You Look Tonight

| at 1:09 AM

8am 2nd June 2012, Sabtu.. Bangun untuk check Blood Pressure. Still tinggi, 140 atas.. herm, mood : mengeluh..
Doctor buat rounding and check luka C-zer and buka plaster.. So far, so good katanya and luka pon nampak kering.. Pastikan tak kena air.. "Baiklah Doctor", berkata dalam hati, siap tambah lagi " bila lah nak kluar nih doctor... huhuhu"

Breakfast dengan ala kadar and pandang keliling.. pesakit da bersilih ganti tapi aku? tercongok lagi kat sini..
Congok punya congok, da sampai tengahari.. asben datang bawak makanan and borak2 then waktu melawat pon habis..
Congok lagi.. tunggu petang pulak...
Petang angah and family, mak abah kaklin and asben datang.. stil diorang xdapat tengok Ms Aisha... somemore kanak-kanak bawah 12 tahun pon tak dapat naik ke ward..(cian anak-anak buah kena tunggu kat lobby hospital..) Untuk elakkan dr kuman berjangkit ~ Polisi Hospital.

Lepas sume balik, except asben. dia ajak tengok baby.. yeay yeay.. mood : kembali gembira macam nak bersiul (tapi tak reti bersiul la.. hahaha)
Sampai kat NICU, nampak baby and nurse suruh angkat and bagi susu.. HOH? macamane nak nyusukan budak ni? gegel, tak tahu... huhuhu wondering ade ke susu nye.. nampak akak yg dulu duduk sebelah katil masa kat labour room tgh nyusukan anak dia.. trus tanya akak tu mcmane nak nyusukan baby.. kiri ke kanan dulu? huhuhu tak tahuuuu....

then nurse cakap, cepatlah bagi susu, sebab kita da nak hantar baby dekat wad awak dah.. HOH? nak dapat baby da? yeay.... tapi try untuk bagi susu tetek & baby still nangis gak sebab xde susu dia nak isap.. then nurse pon bagi susu formula and nasihat, " awak kena pastikan ade susu badan ye, sebab dekat wad nanti diorang akan suruh awak bagi susu badan jugak and takde formula. nanti kesian kat baby, laparrr.".. Trima kasih nurse sebab bagi baby susu dulu sebelum hantar.. terima kasih banyak-banyak..
asben, disuruh nurse utk setelkan bil NICU ward.. bila asben balik trus tanya berape ratus? herm dengan senyuman dia berkata ribu-ribu ditolak jadi RM3 hengget saje.. WOWWW, 1 Malaysia.. Rakyat Didahulukan, Pencapaian Diutamakan...

Dengan tak sabarnye, trus suruh hubby hantar naik wad sebab nak tunggu baby sampai.. akhirnya, sampai jugak Baby Aisha di dalam genggamanku.. yeay my own... baby stil tido, yelah lepas minum susu.. then asben dapat tengok baby sekejap then balik, sebab da terlebih-lebih waktu melawat dah.. and me? keep looking at baby.. sungguh tak percaya, setelah 38 minggu di dalam perut, inilah hasilnya... mood : Gembira tak terkira..

Frank Sinatra ~ The Way You Look Tonight ~

Some day, when I'm awfully low,
When the world is cold,
I will feel a glow just thinking of you
And the way you look tonight.

Yes you're lovely, with your smile so warm
And your cheeks so soft,
There is nothing for me but to love you,
And the way you look tonight.

With each word your tenderness grows,
Tearing my fear apart
And that laugh that wrinkles your nose,
It touches my foolish heart.

Lovely, never, ever change.
Keep that breathless charm.
Won't you please arrange it ?
Cause I love you, just the way you look tonight.

And that laugh that wrinkles your nose,
It touches my foolish heart.

Lovely, don't you ever change.
Keep that breathless charm.
Won't you please arrange it ?
Cause I love you, just the way you look tonight.

Mm, mm, mm, mm,
Just the way you look to-night.

Tengah malam Baby terjaga and trus tukarkan pampers dia & snap snap snap picture.. herm tapi dia tak nak tido balik la pulak.. merengek je and try bagi susu badan tp dia merengek lagi and my nip, sungguh sakit.. yelah mulut baby kecit and dia just isap kat tempat tertentu.. sepatutnya dia kena isap the whole nip.. huhuhuhu sakittttt but baby still lagi menangis.. kejap lagi nurse datang and tanya kenape? entahlah tapi da bagi susu.. nurse tengok my nip and tekan tp xde susu keluar. then dia amik baby and pergi nyusukan, kejap lagi dapat balik baby dengan keadaan peacefully sleep..

Sungguh berterima kasih kepada nurse pada malam tu.. kesian tengok Baby menangis sebab lapar. Sorry baby, ibu takde susu nak bagi kat awak.. huhuhu mood : sungguh sedih tapi lega.. after that baby tido sampai ke pagi.... me? trus tengok muka dia and mengelamun then tertido...

Peace out.
Tembamnye Ms Aisha, sampai tak boleh bukak mata.. hehe

Day 2 - Wake Up Call

| at 11:53 PM

Wake up in the morning feeling like P Diddy
Grab my glasses, I'm out the door, I'm gonna hit this city
Before I leave, brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack
'Cause when I leave for the night, I ain't coming back

~ KESHA - TIK TOK LYRICS

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

6am, 1st June 2012 Jumaat.. Dikejut bangun oleh HA(Hospital Attendant).. Kena bangun macamana pon. Reason being, nanti darah kat perut tak berjalan kalau asik tido je.. Darah dr bhgn bawah dah banyak mengalir smpi tembus ke katil. Ade ke masa ni nak feeling-feeling P.Diddy? adelah kot kalau P.Diddy kena tembak.. huhuhu

Straight to washroom, ditemani oleh HA, yelah takut pengsan ke ape-ape ker... then bersihkan darah-darah kat badan n tukar baju.. mandi? Tak mandi pon coz takut air kena kat luka C-zer yg tak kering lagi.. Gosok gigi? pon takde jugak, feeling-feeling Diva katanya.. hahhaha
Then sambung tido, bgn untuk breakfast tapi tak makan and tido sampai ke tengahari..(hebat kan? sah-sah baby takde di sisi untuk dijaga, relaks lah ko senahhh.. hahhaha).. tengahari asben dtg bawak nasi & lauk masak asam rebus. Wahhh, makan macam org kebulur. Yelah, last aku makan on 30May2012, Rabu on 6pm.. la ni dah ari Jumaat pukul 12, hampir 2 hari aku tak makan pape.. Kebulorrrannn sangat!!! huhuhu.. Its not easy to be a mom.. huhuhu

Then asben ajak pegi tgk baby kat NICU.. yeay yeay.. lama tak tgk baby, hanya tgk dia lepas operation and gambar dlm facebook yg asben post.. mood : gembira.
Apo lagi, naik wheelchair la kita.. kata pesakit... sampai kat NICU trus nampak dia yang tengah begitu syiokk tido.. WOW memang besar la Ms Aisha ni klu dibandingkan dengan baby-baby lain dlm wad ni.. double and triple besar.. Why NICU? sebab doctor nak wat observation whether baby ade diabetes ke tak.. Alhamdulillah takde ape2 masalah kecuali kebesarannye..

Cium baby puas2 and say goodbye sebab taknak kacau dia tido.. babai baby, nanti kita jumpe lagi..

balik wad & continuing rest.. asik tengok org sekeliling pegang baby and baby asik nangis je.. org keliling pon tengok aku yg terpinga-pinga tanpa baby.. Sedih? herm sedihlah jugak (T_T).. tapi nak wat camne..

Waktu lawatan petang, along n family, makdak n family, mak abah kaklin and asben datang melawat.. siap puji mak lagi pasal masak asam rebus dia begitu AWESOMEEE, best sangat sebab selalunya aku akan komplen.. asik asik masak asam rebus, asik asik masak asam rebus, masaklah masak asam pedas.. (aku lebih suka masak asam yg ditumis dr direbus.. hahaha).. mak kata, dah ko kebulor memanglah sedap!! hehhehe..

Tapi kesian, diorang datang tanpa dapat tengok Ms Aisha.. NICU on diorang xdapat masuk sebab hanya parent for baby je yg allowed.. frust diorang nak tengok Katak Bobok (panggilan for Ms Aisha sebab dia bulat & besar).. hehehe

Diorang balik and tinggal la aku sorang2 melayan perasaan. Sepanjang malam asik dengar baby nangis je and me, teruskan tido tanpa gangguan..

Peace Out

Frankly speaking, melahirkan anak is my Turning Point. Kembali appreciate ape yang kita ade dalam hidop ini.. Alhamdulillah..

WOW... amazing!!!

| at 12:11 PM

Masa berjalan begitu pantas.. last entry updated on April 2012, itupon criter Honeymoon 2011..
Sudah lama tidak menulis, sekarang terasa begitu kekok. huhuhu
Hari ni ialah Jumaat 27 July 2012 at 1.24am, dgn rasminya meneruskan untuk berusaha mengupdate blog dengan bersungguh-sungguh..
Dan hari ini jugalah genap 58 Hari Ms Hazzel Noor Aisha Bin Noor Azhar muncul memeriahkan lagi kehidupan my asben N me. Alhamdulillah.. this is the best word ever. Sangat bersyukur Ms Aisha sihat walafiat sampai ke hari 58 nya. Walaupon sometimes terasa nak gigit-gigit sebab geram tgk dia "merengek-rengek manja" (actually da gigit da.. hahhaha gigit manja hehehe..) tapi pujuk hati untuk bersabar. DUGAAN, DUGAAN, DUGAAN..
Mom, WOW!! A very strong word. I dont think much when I'm pregnant but after giving birth to a person, WOWWWW... I feel my life is in a new chapter. Banyak benda kena pikir and banyak benda kena korbankan, yang ni kita crite entry lain yek.

~ 28May2012, Monday - 3 days before C-sec ~

Sepanjang mengandung, aku tak banyak masalah kecuali kencing manis. I'm more focused on my job, habiskan keje or adhoc mane yg patut. Ajar my backup about my work and so on, so bila balik dr kerja selalunya penat and tido. On weekends memang tak duduk mengadap pc langsung, i just laid back and rest.
Until i'm undergone my 38 weeks checkup, Saturday, doctor straight issued me a referral letter to nearest hospital that is Hospital Sg Buloh. Decided to go to Sg buloh on Tuesday, sebab kitaorg nak balik kg minggu tu.

Tuesday 29May2012, 10.00 pagi. heading to Sg buloh with happy face. Then register and jumpe pakar kat sane, endup pakar tu suruh balik and pergi masuk wad hari ni jugak sebabnya my baby da terlalu besar. Ya Allah, masa tu memang meraung lah. Satu takut nak operation, and satu lagi keje kat pejabat n masa tu pulok tgh in the midst of applying housing loan. oooh My God. Hanya Allah je yg tahu perasaan masa tu. Puas berbalah dengan doctor utk masuk wad esoknya because nak setelkan pasal kerja and loan. I know, doctor concern about the baby and me but what i think is, kalau ditakdirkan mati pon, harap everything settled and takdelah menyusahkan org.
Ingatkan nak plan pergi buat scan 3D for baby after that, tp bincang ngan asben and dia terpakse tunggu kat San Francisco Coffee yg terletak kat Lobby Menara Citibank. Meanwhile, i'm just finish up my work and delegate to my boss and staff and not forget the loan. All and all, i feel relieved. Thanks B for the understanding.

Wednesday 30May2012, 9.00 pagi. heading to Sg buloh, labour room with sobbing huhuhu. Takutttt that's the word to describe.. huhuhuhu... register, tukar baju and straight kena check ngan nurse. tetibe akak sebelah katil, baru je sampai untuk check and kepala anak da terbojol kluar.. Alhamdulillah, anak ke-3. Aku? trus dapat katil coz tergolong dalam golongan high risk.. Perempuan mengandung lain yang takde masalah?Teruskan duduk kat bangku, waiting and waiting and waiting..
Sometimes, aku keluar menjenguk asben and teman dia berborak. C-sec aku stil tak sure lagi then tunggu and tunggu. Aku ingat lagi suruh asben beli sandwich tuna sebab lapar xmakan malam lg then pukul 6.00petang aku makan sandwich tu and dengar nama kena panggil coz doctor nak wat checkup.

~ Tangan kena cucuk jarum oleh doktor pelatih sampai mengalir sampai ke lantai.. Horror gile ~

~ kesan darah kat lantai dah dikesat dan dibersihkan ~

Kejap lagi doctor smpi and check perot.. Tup tup, amik ko.. they all try to squeeze in untuk C-sec aku tgh malam ni sebab baby aku memang terlebih besar plus tekanan darah aku da naik.. Terkezut giler, rasa takut datang balik.. trus nurse yg bertugas bagi aku baju bedah and pasang salur kencing and panggil asben masuk.. and mak aku pon berjaya masuk.. sedihnya jangan dicakap waktu tuh.. huhuhu stil nangis lagi skang klu teringat. ( drama sangat... )
Thurday 31May2012, 12.00 pagi.still nama aku tak dipanggil untuk bedah, kul 3.00 pagi, nope... kul 5.00 pagi nope... alat untuk denyutan jantung baby asyik dipasang kat badan aku for observation. kul 7.00 pagi aku tanya kat doctor mcmane ngan C-sec aku, doctor cakap malam td terlalu banyak emergency case and my C-sec will be scheduled at 1st operation of the day, 9.00am. Pukul 9.00 am, nama aku tak dipanggil lg and tanya lagi kat nurse, how's the C-sec. then doctor kata kompem kul 10.00am, 2nd operation of the day. About 10.00am, nama aku dipanggil and bersedialah untuk ke operating theatre(OT), mak and asben pon dipanggil for final goodbye. sedeyyyyyyy and takuttttt...
Sampai ke OT, aku tanya doctor What is the procedure and doctor terangkan bla bla and bla then 2 kali suntikan. 1st, pelali and 2nd trus ke tulang belakang. Tapi bila sampai waktu injection aku rasa bukan 2 kali je, tapi mahu jugak lebih 10kali. The reason being, doctor bius tak jumpe tulang belakang aku then tukar doctor bius lain. Hanya mampu selawat jelah aku selama waktu bius tu Masa 30-45minit just spend untuk biuskan aku je.. dah lah sakit, selawat jelah peneman aku and banyak2 mengucap.. takut mati coz dosa banyak tak cover lagi oooiiiii......... masa nilah aku rasa sangat-sangat menyesal selalu gado ngan mak aku.. walaupon kita just gado-gado manja tapi sangat menyesalll...It's not easy to be a mommy... Really!!!

~ 1st pict of Hazzel Noor Aisha at NICU, ayah senyap2 tangkap gambar ~

After bius, doctor Melissa start operate. Aku dengar nurse/doctor kat sebelah push baby kluar dengan jerit " keluar baby keluar.." then kejap lagi dengar baby menangis.. diorg pon letak baby kat atas badan "Body to Body katanya.." while jahit luka. Alhamdulillah, keluarlah Ms Hazzel Noor Aisha seberat 4.76kg, more than weight that we've been expected. Then baby pon dibawa keluar oleh nurse and straight to NICU sebab berat Ms Aisha and need observation for 1@2 night. Menggigil sejuk satu badan after operation, then tanya nurse macam ni ker rasanya after operate. Then dia kata "Iye..", baru lega hati sebab risau plak kalau-kalau ade masalah.
Aku trus dihantar ke wad 6A then berpindah ke wad 6C. Buka mata lebih kurang pukul 7.00pm and straight nampak muka asben. Mood sangat gembira n dia bgtau baby kat NICU.. Nasib baik malam tu baby takde, sebab memang tak larat utk bangun and jaga dia.. Almaklumlah, hospital gomen tak boleh ade org jaga.. forbidden.. Malam tu hanya tido dengan bersungguh-sungguh sahaja bcoz kesan bius still ade lg.

Sambung lagi nanti eh,
Peace out.